Live Life Slow and Fast?
In some ways, this has been the hardest month of my life.
Ramadan here is beyond any other event I have experienced in a very confusing way. The mixture of fasting and prayer, community and judgement is more foreign than every other moment of my adult life. Christmas in the states makes sense. Easter makes sense. Hell, I’m even starting to understand “election season”. Ramadan is completely, totally, baffling to me.
I fasted for about ten days before I got sick. I suppose walking an hour in the desert sun without water every day was a stupid thing to do, but I had been doing that every few days without trouble for months. What would a few consecutive days matter? Yet, it’s been ten more days since I fell ill and I still feel wrong.
It turns out, Ramadan is not about showing up for responsibilities, or going to work, or even having familial meals and breaking bread. It is about Islam, it is about submission. I could likely skip work all month, and as long as I spend it fasting and praying, it would be considered appropriate.
This is difficult for me. I do not want to submit, especially to a version of God I do not know. I do not want to bow down before Allah, or Elohim, or YHWH, only God. That is a strange feeling to grapple with. I want to work, and build, and teach. Yet that is not what Ramadan is for.
Apologies for the religion talk here, I did say I would not discuss it on this blog. However, it is impossible to ignore Ramadan. There is no analogue in the United States, no equivalent that I have ever remotely encountered. It would be like if in the middle of July, everyone acted like it was a cold winter Christmas for a month, except next year it’ll be in June, and then May the year after that.
In a way, it is incredibly powerful and beautiful how Ramadan changes life, the slowness, the peace, the calm, the prayers.
On the other hand, it makes going to work almost impossible and it aggravates me to no end. I asked numerous questions about Ramadan to Moroccans and it really is impossible to describe. Without a car, without reliable transportation, without a deep understanding of Islam, Ramadan feels impossible.
To be clear, if you are not Muslim and are planning to visit a Muslim country, never visit during Ramadan. You will make mistakes and you will not enjoy yourself. However, if you are Muslim, blessings and prayers upon you this Ramadan. It is a beautiful holiday of faith, of community, and of peace.
I’ll pray to understand that.
Sending love,
